We all struggle with sin: proverbs31.org, and we don't like to acknowledge it and would rather hide it.
We can defeat this struggle by praying: God, you know what is best for my life. This desire is holding me back from you. Show me if this desire is leading me to sin. And if it is Lord, drive me far from it so I do not fall into the pit of sin. In Jesus name amen.
The links below are for your benefit to look over in your spare time:
https://iluvbingjcsbride.blogspot.com/2016/07/listening-to-advice-from-above-how-to.html, https://iluvbingjcsbride.blogspot.com/2016/05/jesus-yes-jesus-is-after-his-bride-you.html, https://iluvbingjcsbride.blogspot.com/2016/03/jesus-is-jealous-for-you-yes-you-he.html.
These links are not for the faint of heart. They are here in case you are pulled in by your own sinful desire.
Hope that helps and God bless!